Friday, March 26, 2010

13 Great Things about having a Small Penis

My wife sometimes teases me about my small penis and you would think I would feel upset over this. But I dont. In my opinion I am glad I have a small unit and here are my reasons. I have 13 of them to show you that it is nothing to be ashamed of.

13. You have something to take the focus off your receding hairline.

12. It makes your otherwise-dainty hands look huge.

11. You get to have fun watching your sexual partner come up with creative compliments (God bless her) to make you feel better about your modest member, like "You're soooo hard!" "It grows so much!" and, worst of all, "It fits my vagina perfectly."

10. You can relate to women better because you more or less have a vagina.

9. Your son's penis envy will disappear by the time he hits 11.

8. Your balls look much more substantial.

7. You have a 14 percent better chance of talking your significant other into backdoor action.

6. You are marginally less likely to get your pecker caught in a wood mulcher. (It can happen!)

5. You can fit your entire chub in a $10 quarter roll and play a really awesome trick on a bank teller.

4. You have a perfect excuse to buy the new Ferrari 458 Italia, Rolex Yacht-Master II watch, or cigarette boat.

3. Smurf condoms only cost, like, 40 cents per pack.

2. Devoid of a false sense of entitlement, you will be motivated to develop an actual personality, a professional skill set, and the means to make a useful contribution to society.

1. You can write a best-selling memoir about your penis and make up with celebrity what you lack in length and girth!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Get Her to Try (and Enjoy) Anal Sex

by Jonathan Hunt, ATU 757 President

Anal-intercourse is a very enjoyable experience for many men, but convincing a girlfriend to do it with them can be very challenging. Before you decide to just go-for-it when you are with her, it would be wise to discuss it with her beforehand. She may be open to some ideas, and not open to others. Wail until she has established her boundaries and comfort level before you go ahead with any wild, independent attempts.

A lot of women have tried it before, and found it to be a painful experience, and have since decided to never do it again. Because the bodily region is packed with nerve-endings, it is very sensitive; improper stimulation can result in incredible pain or mind-blowing pleasure. In order to enjoy it, you have to make sure of a few things; you have talked it over beforehand, she is comfortable, and you have taken the proper measures to make the experience pleasurable.

Some women are just uninterested due to either a bad previous experience, or they flat-out do not enjoy it. If you really want to try it with her, and she is not interested, you need to find out the cause to determine if the issue is worth pursuing. But, you must not be pushy because nobody likes being pressured into doing something that they do not want to do. If you consider yourself to be liberated in the sense that you are interested in trying new, exciting things, then you may let her know that you are open to the idea of her penetrating you as well with her fingers or a toy. Who knows? You may enjoy it as well.

To make her comfortable, you will have to get her properly aroused before doing anything new and potentially uncomfortable, which means that you will have to use lots of foreplay to set the mood. And, to ensure her satisfaction when you do go for it, use sufficient lubrication (use a lot) and begin with a finger, or an adult-toy to see how she responds before proceeding to full-on anal-intercourse. Proceed to the next level, if and only if she says that it is okay; and when you do proceed, take it slow!

She may have concerns with cleanliness as well. To address her concerns about dirtiness, insist that you clean up well beforehand, lay down throwaway sheets, and maybe consider having the entire experience in the shower. It may not be the most comfortable setting, but it is a good starting point.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Rules For a Threesome With Two Women

by Jonathan Hunt
If you are a man that has fantasies about having a sexual adventure with two women, then there are some things you should know before taking the plunge. Although it may sound silly, there are some basic rules that you must follow if you wish to have a successful threesome with your girlfriend or wife. These rules are in no particular order. We will begin with the issue of bringing-it-up.

Chances are, your girlfriend (in my case, my wife Melissa) has hinted at having an intimate experience with you and another person already. If this is the case, then do not bring up the issue; let her mention it, and then just go with it. In other words, if you are a good listener, then you probably will not have to make any suggestions at all. When she does bring it up, be cautious about sounding too eager so that she knows that she is in control.

Do not be selfish! Nobody likes to feel like their personal desires are being railroaded so that somebody else can get theirs. Although everybody is participating for their own personal enjoyment, it is best to keep your focus on pleasing the other parties involved. If you accommodate their desires, it will be well worth it. Because if you make it clear that you are genuinely interested in pleasing the other two parties more than yourself, they will graciously and generously pay you back.

Before you invite a third party into your bedroom, you have to set rules regarding what is forbidden. For example, if you and your female partner include another female, then your girlfriend may prohibit you from penetrating the other female. This is a very touchy issue, and if you break the rules, the whole experience could come to a grinding halt or worse, you may wind up losing some of your girlfriends trust and never have another threesome. Think about if you had a threesome with your girlfriend and another man; you would probably want to set some ground rules regarding his behavior.

Distance is imperative to having a successful threesome, and is crucial to having more threesome experiences in the future. You and your partner must remember at all times that you are having an experience with a third party, not a relationship! At moments it will feel impossible to keep a cool distance, but if you cannot keep the third person at an emotional distance then you run the risk of damaging your relationship. Intimate experiences cause emotional connections to form. You may have to mitigate the development of these emotional bonds by not-having regular experiences with a third person.

Always practice safe sex! This can be a bit tricky when you are simultaneously with more than one partner. Do not use the same condom with your girlfriend and the third person, because then you may be putting your girlfriend in harm’s way. The only way to be safe in a threesome is to use several condoms- every time that you switch your focus from one person to the other. It may seem tedious, but safety is more important than convenience, and your partners will appreciate your concern for their safety.

Do not attempt to be in charge. Many men jump into a threesome thinking that the whole event is about their personal pleasure, and that they are the captain of the ship. Nothing could be further from the truth. A threesome is about pleasing everybody involved, and it must either be; democratic, or controlled by the women that are involved. This is because you may accidentally request that they do something that makes them uncomfortable or may seem like a jerk because you are telling everybody what to do. Also, remember to move at your girlfriend’s pace, so as not to make her feel uncomfortable by rushing into experiences that are new to her.

You may have a girl in mind that you would love to include in a threesome with you and your girlfriend, but that will prevent the threesome from ever happening. If you recommend a girl to your girlfriend, she will probably take this as a pathetic attempt at asking for permission to cheat on her- and it is. Let your girlfriend make the selection, because if you select somebody or are too pushy, she will begin to think that the whole idea is about you hooking up with another girl.

If you follow these basic guidelines, then you will greatly increase the likelihood of having a successful threesome with your girlfriend or wife. Remember that you must discuss your plans and intentions at length before doing anything, and your significant other may not be as restrictive as the rules described above. But, if she is not assertive and you do not know how she feels, then play on the safe side and do not push her boundaries.